Marveling at '70s History-Disco Lyrics: Boney M's "Rasputin"
It's been awhile since I've yelled at a song.
OKAY GETTING THIS OUT OF THE WAY FIRST, I ALWAYS HAVE TO BE REMINDED THIS IS BY BONEY M.
IF YOU COME TO THE SONG VIA RADIO OR CASSETTE, AS I DID, YOU FILE IT AWAY AS ONE OF MANY HITS ABBA HAD OVERSEAS BUT NOT IN AMERICA. EVEN TODAY I GOOGLED “RA RA RASPUTIN ABBA” BUT OBVIOUSLY THAT IS NOT A MISTAKE YOU WOULD MAKE IF YOU SAW THEM FIRST:
UNLESS YOU ARE AN ANGLO- OR EUROPHILE, YOU MIGHT WELL HAVE NEVER HEARD THIS SONG BEFORE. BONEY M WERE A WEST GERMAN GROUP AND THIS SONG IS ONE OF THOSE TUNES THAT WAS A HUGE HIT EVERYWHERE ON THE PLANET EXCEPT AMERICA FOR WHATEVER REASON.
POSSIBLY THE IMPOSSIBLY GOOFY (BUT UTTERLY CHARMING) LYRICS….THERE IS NOTHING COOL ABOUT THIS SONG. ON THE OTHER HAND, IT’S A LOT OF FUN, A MIX OF OUTDATED AMERICAN SLANG, FAIRY TALES, PASSAGES SEEMINGLY LIFTE DIRECT FROM AN ENCLYCLOPEDIA, AND NAUGHTY INNUENDO, ALL WRITTEN WITH BOLD ESL BRIO .
AND AWAY WE GO.
WE BEGIN IN FAIRY TALE MODE, CLOSED OUT WITH GROOVY SLANG
There lived a certain man in Russia long ago
He was big and strong, in his eyes a flaming glow
Most people looked at him with terror and with fear
But to Moscow chicks he was such a lovely dear
He could preach the bible like a preacher PREFERABLE TO PREACHING IT LIKE A PLUMBER, I SUPPOSE
Full of ecstasy and fire
But he also was the kind of teacher
Women would desire
RA RA RASPUTIN
Lover of the Russian queen
There was a cat that really was gone (RASPUTIN AS MEMPHIS ROCKABILLY DADDY-O)
RA RA RASPUTIN
Russia's greatest love machine
It was a shame how he carried on WHY THIS SUDDEN PRUDERY
He ruled the Russian land and never mind the Czar (NEVER YOU MIND, YOU SILLY LITTLE CZAR)
But the kasachok he danced really wunderbar (LOVE THIS SO MUCH)
In all affairs of state he was the man to please
But he was real great when he had a girl to squeeze
For the queen he was no wheeler dealer
Though she'd heard the things he'd done
She believed he was a holy healer
Who would heal her son
RA RA RASPUTIN Lover of the Russian queen
There was a cat that really was gone
RA RA RASPUTIN Russia's greatest love machine
It was a shame how he carried on
SEEMS THE SONGWRITING TEAM GOT BORED HERE AND STARTED LIFTING LINES STRAIGHT FROM THUMBNAIL HISTORIES
But when his drinking and lusting and his hunger
For power became known to more and more people
The demands to do something about this outrageous
Man became louder and louder
"This man's just got to go!" declared his enemies
But the ladies begged "Don't you try to do it, please"
No doubt this Rasputin had lots of hidden charms
Though he was a brute they just fell into his arms
Then one night some men of higher standing
Set a trap, they're not to blame
"Come to visit us" they kept demanding
And he really came
RA RA RASPUTIN
Lover of the Russian queen
They put some poison into his wine
RA RA RASPUTIN Russia's greatest love machine
He drank it all and he said "I feel fine"
RA RA RASPUTIN Lover of the Russian queen
They didn't quit, they wanted his head
RA RA RASPUTIN Russia's greatest love machine
And so they shot him till he was dead
I HAD IT IN MY HEAD THEY ALSO HAD TO STAB HIM A BUNCH OF TIMES AND THEN CHUNK HIM IN AN ICY RIVER BEFORE HE FINALLY GAVE UP THE GHOST BUT NOT ACCORDING TO BONEY M.
Oh, those Russians...
OH, INDEED.